Always Here
by zaibi12
Summary: After the events of S6E5, but this time Robert had died. I'm so sorry! Cora, on New Year's after Edith's wedding. She has a moment alone with the love of her life. Even if it's just imaginary.


_**HEY! So first of all, I'm sorry for this! I had this vision, I always have these damn visions and before I know it ,there's a story I want to build around it. Oh well! So this is a short little drabble after the events of S6E5, but only this time Robert had died (I am sorry!). This continues from the last episode after Edith's wedding on New Year's, only difference is that Robert had died few months ago after the ulcer burst. Please do review, sorry to make you cry on Valentine's Day, oh and by the way, Happy Valentine's Day! I miss Cobert SO much! xoxo**_

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She smiled to herself. The last one of her hands. Edith, poor old Edith finally got married and she was happy. Oh, so happy, her baby. She was proud of her. He would have been proud of her. He was proud of her. She looked around the Great Hall, all her family gathered in here. Mary, newly married and pregnant with another baby, Edith off to her honeymoon, Mama satisfied with the day planned by her, which was of rare occurrence, Rose and sweet Atticus enjoying being back, Tom on the verge of finding happiness, she hoped, even Henry settling in finally, Isobel still coming to terms with the wonderful news about her husband, Rosamund was being Rosamund and she...well she, she didn't know. She looked around and thanked God for her family. They kept her going, they were her strength.

"Two minutes" Tom smiled at everyone filling goblets of champagne. She observed as he passed everyone a glass. She took hers and gave him a smile.

Mama and Rosamund were busy talking about something, or rather gossiping about someone. Henry, Mary, Rose and Atticus formed a group and chatted. Isobel, Tom and Lord Merton chatted in another corner. There were no servants around, as per their tradition. This was her chance. She took a breath and walked towards the table and picked up another glass. Checking one last time that everyone else was otherwise occupied, she headed for the stairs, upto her room.

She managed the two glasses in her hand and opened the door to her room with the other. She clicked on the switch and the light in the room came to life. She headed towards the window, placed the glasses on the window sill and opened the window. The chilly air attacked her face and she shuddered momentarily but this, this was important. And then, then she sat down on the bench joined to the window and waited.

She closed her eyes and waited. She unconsciously rubbed the spot on her heart which somehow ached all the time, it ached all the time. Every moment. Every second. It hurt. She took a deep breath, 1 2 3. Another, 1 2 3. She will not panic.

Then she heard the tick of the clock and like clockwork she heard a round of Happy New Year from below stairs. She smiled faintly. She took the glass and took a sip. Then one from the other glass, for him. She looked outside, at the sky at the stars, she gazed at the one that was shining the most, she smiled. He loved gazing at the stars on New Year's, she never knew why, just his fascination for them was enough for her to tag along. Then she picked up the wooden frame. She looked at his face. Darling. Oh, her darling, her dearest darling. A wave of tears threaten to swim down her face but she closed her eyes, no she won't cry. She traced the tips of her fingers on his features on the grainy picture. She remembered each line, each freckle, his dimple, the number of lines on his forehead, the length of his jaw line, the softness of his lips, the blue of his eyes. He was so handsome, so beautiful. She closed her eyes again, the spot on her heart throbbed harder.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked at the hand and travelled the length up to the face. He was here, smiling at her. But his face was bright, he was covered in a halo. He smiled at her once again and she sighed softly. He sat down on her level, kneeling on the floor. His hand came and rested on her cheek, cradling it and she closed her eyes at the tenderness. She felt him come nearer, he kissed her eyelids and the trail of tears that shamelessly fell down. His gentleness made her want to cry. She sighed as he placed soft kisses on her cheeks.

"Cora" he said in the voice that was all too familiar to her. She opened her eyes and looks at him. He smiled at her but his eyes were intense. He brings his hand to her cheek again.

"You're exhausted, get some sleep." He whispered on her lips.

He said in his most gentlelest of tones.

He knew. He always knew. She hadn't slept in days. The thought of a new year made her want to throw up. New year meant new beginnings. No, there can't ever be new beginnings. She ended where his life ended. She lived for her kids, she existed for them, her life was over. His life was her life. He was her life. He was gone, she was gone, too.

His intense eyes looks at her and she melts. This. Him. All of him, all this gloriousness is hers. She nods. She can never say no to him when he talked like that. He was her strength, her weakness, her baby at times, her parent at times. And he smiles, he takes her soft cheeks in both hands and kisses her lips, with such tenderness and fullness. She kissed him back. She missed kissing him. It was her and him. Just them. Just the two of them. That's what she wanted, a long and happy life, just them two, that's all she wanted.

"I love you" he says when he finished kissing her. She closed her eyes remembering the last time she heard him say that was his last moments.

 _I have loved you very, very much._

Oh, she knew. She knew that. She wanted to say that to him, one last time, but she couldn't. Because he was gone.

"I love you so much" she whispers to him. "So much, oh darling, so much" she finished with a sob. "I want to be with you"

She opens her eyes and he is looking at her.

"I'll be here" his hand glides from her cheek to her heart. "Here, always here". This. Him. All of him, is hers. Was hers.

He backs away, he smiles and backs away and she looks at him. He was looking so peaceful, not the way she saw him last. He was clean and happy, there was no blood, no ambulance, no terror. Just him. He takes her hand and tangle their fingers from a moment, observing how perfectly the fit together, then he stands up and looks at her. He backs away, she keeps staring. He backs away and then he's gone.

She opens her eyes, she could still hear the celebration from downstairs. Her index finger lay firmly on his lips on the grainy picture. Her heart breaks. He was right. He was here, he will aways be here. She isn't alone in this room, he is here. He is watching. She smiles and the action causes her tears to fall straight on his picture. She wipes it away and says "Happy New Year, my darling" and the smile she sees in the photograph was the same goofy smile he'd give her if he was here. Because he was. Always here.


End file.
